This morning, I was listening to Rachel Hollis for the first time in months. I’m not going to lie, I had stopped listening to her podcast- not because I didn’t like it, but because I felt like I was in an incredibly different place than her. She is a girl boss with hustle like no other. A few days ago, as I was waiting in the lobby during my longest OB appointment ever WITH A D E A D phone, I noticed a magazine with an article in it written by her. Within it, I found out she was going through a divorce. I’m not sure how I missed that, but I thought “wow, someone so perfect is now co-parenting”. Now, a little more relatable that I remembered, I fired up the old podcast and listened to her tell me to stop being lazy and follow my dreams. She told me to figure out what was holding me back, so I thought really hard to myself- fear of disappointment, total inexperience, inability to ever be perfect? D- all of the above.
Man, is that the word of the century. AmIRight?
The perfect house.
The perfect yard.
The perfect spouse.
The perfect kiddos.
The perfect life.
But sis, can I let you in on a secret? It isn’t perfect. It’s a filter.. everything is perfect on someone else’s profile.
Your house is beautiful- clean it, declutter, light a candle and soak in how perfect it is even though it’s small/old/not as nice as “theirs”.
Your yard is fine, no one cares that you don’t have the huge inflatable Santa (except maybe your kids when you’re at Walmart and they want to buy every.single.item.).
Your spouse is trying. Another secret no one wants to hear- they’ll never actually be perfect (and all my women said A M E N). My husband leaves his socks in the middle of the floor, he’s the worst light-turner-offer, and I’ve come to terms with the fact that he will never put the toilet seat down in a house full of women, ever. But man, is he patient, loving, caring, sweet, selfless. I was in the hospital a few weeks ago and he sat in the corner chair knowing he couldn’t do anything except hand me my drink.. but do you know what he did do? Hand me my drink, rub my back, kiss my forehead, pray for me. That is perfection.
Your kiddos are great. That meltdown today in the middle of the frozen food aisle (been there) is not the first or the last you (or that hometown grocery store) will experience a full blown temper tantrum. The people staring and snickering saying “my kid will never do that” are probably not parents yet. You’re not failing. You’re giving them love, kindness, snuggles.
Your life, girl, your life is phenomenal. In the same podcast (I’ll link it here) Rachel said you know the things I am going to tell you, you’ve heard them, you know it’s important, BUT sometimes you’re not in the right season for it to really hit.
So, if you are in a place of struggling with perfectionism, just know you’re not alone there. You are also not alone in the fact that someone will always have something better than you- better car, better yard, better job. But your season is not the same, your filter is not the same.
You are the best you that you will ever come across. No one can ever come close.
You may hate the pain tonight, but joy will be here in the morning.