..And to all a good night.

It was the night before Christmas and all through the house, all the mamas were rushing around to tie up loose ends and the daddies were eating Santa’s snacks and building toys and getting in the way of the already stressed out mamas. The grandparents were hectically wrapping and preparing baked goods and the kiddos were anxiously listening for the tapping of the reindeers feet onto the roof until their little minds drifted to sleep with their happy thoughts.

This Christmas was different than most. The shopping was limited, the loved ones were scarce, the traditions were broken and BOY was this hard. Due to unforeseeable circumstances, we only got to celebrate with the five of us this year. This was wild to me. I came from a divorced home and my mom came from a divorced home, so I am use to a lot of Christmases. We always ran all over the country in order to make all the events in time and celebrate. Now, my daughter, Avery has that treat. She has Christmas Eve with mama, Christmas morning with mama, daddy, and our two bonuses- Day and BB, followed by many more family and friends gatherings. It is exhausting, we’re all so wore out by the end, but that is our perfect Christmas. We love seeing everyone, laughing, baking, presents, just thoroughly enjoying time together. This year, COVID really made it different. As most of you know, I am a nurse at the hospital, so it is always worrisome for me to be around and potentially make friends and family sick from the germs I pick up there. (But let’s be real for a moment- you pick up similar germs from shopping, the gym, going out to eat, etc).

This year, all those plans were taken away. We celebrated with just us. We had lasagna and watched Jingle All the Way (all my 90’s babies said HECK YEAH). We left cookies and milk for Santa and got all the stockings filled in anticipation for the big guys big appearance. On Christmas morning, we opened presents, FaceTime and called everyone, watched Mulan and ate stew. It was simple, it was family, it was us. It was a memory. 2020 has been anything but normal and we should be use to that by now and we’ve mostly learned to just go with it, but sometimes I think to myself “man, if this were any other year.. life would be easy”.

E A S Y

Easy isn’t always better though. In this hard season of life, you are an inspiration to those around you. To the single daddy that didn’t think he would ever be the sole guardian of his kiddos and dreads dealing with all the stuff “mamas” help their daughters learn. We see you. To the person who lost their job in March this year when COVID hit and you thought you would never find another occupation you loved, but here you are killin’ it and kicking booty and taking names- we see you. To the mama who checked that pregnancy test one last time before opening presents and for the millionth time saw only one line, we see you, we love you and in time, you will be the perfect mama. As we grow up, so often we see all our friends online growing, flourishing, excelling. We don’t post our failures, we post our successes.

Social media is so frustrating, so much comparing, so much sadness can come from it.. But that isn’t all it is. Social media can be connecting, inspiring, loving. We choose what we are. We choose every minute of everyday what we are going to be. What do you choose to be today?

We’re about to start a new year with new goals, new plans, and new aspirations. Months ago (literally) I bought a devotional I absolutely HAD to have. I ordered through prime to ensure it would get here in time.. Do you want to know how many times I have cracked that baby open? None. I was so insistent on being better and doing better, but I got caught up in life and never even opened it. So what do you choose? Who are you going to inspire? Connect to? Love? I challenge you to remember who you were when you were laying in bed, drifting away to the sounds of the reindeer landing on top of the roof as your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends stayed up late to make sure you experienced the magic. If you’re a parent of littles now, you probably got to see that this year- the look on their faces when they saw the cookies had been eaten by Santa, or helped nana bake, or even just watching the Grinch for the sixth time… this week.

I want to be kinder, more inspirational, connecting, loving. I want to be more. I want people to see me and my social media as the same person.. and hopefully a good one at that. I know you can be too. It’s so easy to get torn down by the world. To be sad, burned-out, and broken.. but even though there may be so much weeping in the night, J O Y COMES IN THE M O R N I N G.

Avery Grace at Christmas 2020!

One thought on “..And to all a good night.

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